21 songs that changed my life;

21 songs that changed my life
they will not be numbered,
because some are too close to call,
however, you will get the gist.



"stephanie says" by the velvet underground
'it reminds me of you.'
when i first heard this song, it was over the phone.
someone dearest to me in my life played this,
and told me "it reminds me of you."
immediately after listening to the lyrics,
and i knew what he meant.. and i couldn't help but wonder,
why had i given half my life (and still did) to people i 'hated' now.




"these days" by nico
my personal theme song.
the original version of this song that i heard was a cover,
by fountains of wayne. at the moment i heard it,
i was standing with a group of friends 'ipod in one ear'
and listening to the album for the first time.
i remember thinking nothing of it, and moving on..
soon after, there were several 'incidents' in my life,
i drifted.. one day, when i was upset,
and watching one of my favorite movies,
i really finally heard the song, this time by nico.
since then, i've thought of it as mine own personal theme song;
hitting me hard, in all the right places.




"sometimes" by my bloody valentine
an introduction to painful times.
there isn't much to explain to everyone about this song,
it's something personal, that's i'd be willing to talk about with
the select, though the only people who read this, i trust as best as i can,
it's something you can ask me personally..
if you would like to know why, i might tell you.
it's a hard song for me to talk about,
but i can leave you with the fact i love it,
and it gives me the greatest sense of 'comfort' i have ever felt.




"war on drugs" by the barenaked ladies
a recovery song.
in all reality barenaked ladies could have several list of 21 songs
that changed me. barenaked ladies i grew up. they are and always will
be my favorite band at heart, i have been listening to them, since
longer then i can remember,
i used to think they were so fun and energetic,
when i first bought 'everything to everyone', it was fun..
with 'another postcard' and 'maybe katie', but then you get to this
one, through out the end of middle school this was my favorite song.
it helped me cope with the death of my cousin mostly, and it
still a song i can look to to help me with my depression and when i
have lack of inspiration. it's a beautiful, sad song that
i think everyone must hear at least once.




"the wolf" by catie curtis
an introduction to personal strength.
this was one of the songs that started my love for folk.
the whole song with a metaphor about 'the wolf',
i couldn't help but feel i could relate.
this song taught me a lot about patience,
and learning to be a strong individual.
i love all the meaning, and emotion that goes into the song,
you can really hear in catie curtis' voice how much she put into it.




"playground love" by air
a true love song.
from the movie 'the virgin suicides' this song always gave me an
eerie, secluded feeling. when i really fell in love with this song,
i was in 10th grade, it was the summertime,
and i was in a rough patch on my life.
my life gave me the same eerie sense, yet i was in love.
i was a highschool lover, and i felt like at the time 'that favorite flavor'
was all i had. this song, echoed though my head like a heartbeat,
and helped me learn to breathe on my own.




"out of habit" by ani difranco
the ability to break the mold.
the one line that always stands out of me is:
"the butter melts of habit, through the toast isn't even warm."
when i first heard those words, suddenly i felts like it all made sense,
i wasn't the only girl in the world who fell into routines,
i wasn't the only one stuck in something.
ani's voice has always made me feel strong,
she's made me feel warm, safe. she's made me feel at home,
and it's ok to be who i am. in this song, it's about being who you are,
but still have the courage and the need to stand up for yourself,
and not let yourself get beaten down by what you are told to do.




"faded from the winter" by iron and wine
a break up song.
though the lyrics didn't completely match,
this was a break up song for me. i remember hearing
this song in the dead of winter (ironically.) and it was a sad,
sorry, windy, cold day.. i felt completely alone,
this song grew to be a comfort for me,
reminding me of "the voice that i like."




"say yes" by elliott smith
a introduction to growth.
elliott smith's voice is simply incredible, so say the least.
it was truly difficult for me to pick song of his that i felt really
changed me, however, this was my first elliott smith song,
and i remember listening to it a lot summer of tenth grade.
to say the least, i was a different person.. i did all sorts of things,
that i shouldn't have been doing. and somewhere in the midst of me
trying to change this song supported me. it made me feel like everything
was going to be ok, and maybe i was 'damaged bad at best', but i've grown
and this song helped me too.




"desperate serenades" by crazy for jane
'a needed song.'
this song. ah, what can i say about this song. long ago, when myspace
was hip, it was my myspace song every other song for what seemed
like forever. i heard it once, and knew i'd never be able to forget it.
i think it was the voices that really stole my heart.
they are scratchy, and poetic. they are real, you can
really hear who the people are. and the areas with the repetitive
"need you" just make you feel full. it's might be for a 'i need you,
i love you' song. but the raw emotion, just is so important to me.
it really connected to me at the point in my life, and still now.




"untouchable face" by ani difranco
a real tear jerker.
this song has always turned on some pretty strong emotions for me,
but it wasn't until i heard it live it really tore me apart.
i remember standing a few leaps on the left side of the stage. it was right
after a break up, a big one, one i believe to be the real end. i stood there,
and i sung along, with my best friend at the time next to me doing the same.
mid-way through the song she turned to me with a hug and told me it was going to
be ok, she could tell how close to tears i really was. later, after the show,
we talked about.. and even though there's more the story,
the point is that it was ok.




"arc of time" by bright eyes
welcome to the reality.
ah, i find this song to be one of the closest songs,
that i ever felt describes to the very detail.
this song is one of those song, that cramps so much meaning into such
a short amount of time. this is a song packed with a very scary realization,
that i found so important for a long time.. that some one else realizes it too,
and isn't afaird to say so.




"jolene" by the weepies
a bit of happiness in the blue.
the weepies can always make me smile. though a lot of the time their
lyrics aren't anything to smile about.. the way the carry themselves,
the lyrics, and tunes; it makes you smile. the weepies are hopeful,
and that's something you don't find much anymore.
they never say things the way they are,
and still have a hopeful sense. in my mind, to sing something like
'is it still raining everywhere you are?' with such an upbeat tone,
it says something about who you are, and i like it;
i like to finally be given a hope.




"bukowski" by modest mouse
i've never been so honest with myself.
in the same sense, i like when people tell me things honestly,
as is as well. not everything needs a hopeful spin, in fact,
most things don't.. it's better to just be striaght up.
but this song hardly puts rosy coloured glasses on.
the song could be taken two ways "God." or "god,"
'who would want to be such a control freak?'
'who would want to be such an asshole?'
either way, i've never heard anyone say something so
offensive and honest, when speaking about "God" and for me
this song has really helped me with my idea of religion,
and what i do or not believe.




"a martyr for my love for you" by the white stripes
we all can be martyrs.
though many of the white stripes songs touched me,
and help me change and grow,
this one, after first hearing i knew it was big. i bought
'icky thump' the day it came out,
my love and i had both bought a copy, who couldn't agree
on which one of us wanted it more. after buying the ablum,
we went home to listen,
i don't remember even getting to this song,
before we ending up going to
eat dinner or something. much later, a month or two
after the album came out, i was talking about it with him and
he just said
"martyr.. yeah, that's powerful."




"pigs (three different ones)" by pink floyd
my introduction to classic rock.
this song was first played to me when my bus broke down coming back
from the 8th grade trip to washington, dc. it was played with headphones,
in a good ol' fashion cd player. this was the first song that made me love
classic rock. i think without a boy and a cd player,
i would have never really fallen in love with the 1960's to 1970's.




"rock bottom riser" by smog
'i am a rock bottom riser.'
it was really hard for me to choose one of bill callahan's songs.
his voice i find incredible. it's so hard and soft the same time,
which is something i find as a rarity.
but this song really captures how i feel about what i've been through,
and how i've changed. the whole idea of being a 'rock bottom riser'
is so strong and so meaningful. i've never met anyone else who likes
smog, but for me, smog makes me feel like i'm perfect for who i am,
and what i have accomplished in my life.



"southern california wants to be western new york" by dar williams
we all want to be something else.
this is a more recent song that has changed me. i've always loved
this song, i love talking to people, i love learning about who people are,
and what that love, what they want, everything.
and one thing, that never fails, no matter how strong or weak
the person is; everyone wants something else.
and no matter what, everyone will always want what they don't have.
people aren't just happy being themselves,
and apparently locations aren't either. :)



"cato as a pun" by of montreal
'i can't even pretend that you are my friend.
don't say that i have changed, cause man of course i have.'
this album came out january 23rd, 2007.
i lost a lot of friend that year.
but this album was giving to me by one of my only
true friends left from that time.
he gave me this, and told me he'd let me listen to it
whenever i want, even though he hated the band personally.
this album in general summed up my feelings
for my jr yr of high school. but this song,
hit home and helped me realize,
maybe i was right. maybe i did make the right choices.



"clumsy card house" by blue october
an introduction to 'a scary love song'
no matter what group of people or what direction
blue october takes. they will always be a band that i
consider on of my favorites. when i was in 6th grade, i went to texas,
and my cousins later that summer gave my sister this album.
even as a kid, i knew there was a strong meaning in this.
later, i still loved blue october, they got me through some
tough middle school years, and early high school ones.
and this song just gave me a hope that i would
find someone, someday that would be by my side forever.